Oh the Things I Could Be

On Fridays I (sometimes) link up with Lisa-Jo Baker for a writing flash mob. I write for five minutes on the topic Lisa-Jo has chosen. Today's writing prompt is willing. 

I wonder if all of life can be summed up in the word “willing.” Every choice I make, every action occurs because I am either willing or not. Am I willing to wake early to study and exercise? Am I willing to keep the house in order (sometimes)? Am I willing to return emails and turn in expense reports so my desk doesn’t look like a train wreck? Am I willing to make hard relationship decisions, even those that bring pain? Am I willing to forgive harsh words spoken in my direction? Am I willing to let go of my selfishness?

Few things worth celebrating in life happen unless I am willing to give of myself. I listened recently to Shauna Niequist speak about being willing to let God heal us. Her words resonated deeply with me. When I am hurt, when I am scared, when I am in the pit of depression, I must get to a place of willingness before anything else can follow. A willingness to lean into that pain, that hurt, that fear and dig down to its root. Am I willing to walk with God into a place of healing? Honestly, sometimes I am not and I sit in my pain.

Ready or not life is coming at me - in an ever faster and in a hurry world. Every day life requires my response. Some are simple. Some are complex. Am I willing to make hard choices? Am I willing to walk with Jesus in gentleness, patience, peace, goodness, love, joy, kindness, faithfulness and self-control.

Sometimes it is hard. Some days I am more willing than other days to be who I am in Christ.

God, please help me be willing.