I have loved the increased chaos and messiness and negotiations over what’s for dinner and who gets control of the remote. But then just as I settled into having my children home, they left again. Rebecca off to Costa Rica for three weeks of study and Caleb off to begin a graduate program in Portland. A few weeks ago I asked Caleb to start being really unpleasant so I would miss him less when he leaves (he didn’t comply). I didn’t ask this of my daughter because I fear the shock of unpleasantness coming from my sweet girl would be too great.
So it is in the midst of these hellos and goodbyes that I have chosen as my 2014 word, “remember.” I joked last week that I was going to choose a more restful word this year, since my 2013 word “brave” nearly did me in. I’m tired, people. The word remember started floating around my mind a couple of weeks ago and it’s what I need for 2014.
I want to remember that through all the scary changes and fears we live with daily, God is here. His love is constant. He never stops caring for me, and when I hurt, he hurts. I want to remember that in 2013 when I walked with loved ones through homeless shelters and death and birth and new homes, and leaving home for the first time, and an empty nest that God walked with us. Always.
I want to remember we are all important to God. We are all beloved. We all matter. I want to remember this and see every person through God’s eyes - equally lovable.
And in all of this, I want to remember Rebecca’s hand in mine as we watch TV, the amazing sound of Caleb’s laughter, and how it feels to be wrapped in my husband’s safe embrace. Because life continues to bring more joy than pain, and that is something I want always to remember.