June 13, 2018
My dearest Lori,
I hope it’s okay that I’ve typed these words and not handwritten them, but tears don’t smear digital letters like they do handwritten letters.
I’m going to start by sharing the two verses I pray for you each day:
Psalm 23:4 “Even if I go through the deepest darkness, I will not be afraid, LORD, because you are with me.” Oh Lori, I pray you feel the love and presence of Jesus so real and tangibly every moment.
Psalm 71:14 “But I will hope continually and will praise you yet more and more.” I pray for extreme trust, peace and joy to live deep inside you. And always I pray for healing.
Oh Lori, every week when I have the privilege of spending my day with you, I want to tell you everything in my heart and all you mean to me; but I know if I open my mouth to say these things, only sobs will emerge. Such is the way of me. I’m grateful God has given us the written word.
You know, I know you do, how much I love you. Without you, a big gaping hole will forever be in my heart. I will miss your laughter (oh your laughter!) and incredible wit and silliness, your wisdom, our last minute coffee dates at Janjou, our hikes and XC skiing, your gentle words of guidance and sometimes even correction, and of course the pictures we text each other of our meals (at least we aren’t posting them on Instagram).
My first memory of you is when Rebecca and Madelon were in first grade together and you sent an invitation to the parents for coffee at your house. I was annoyed and felt a great deal of FOMO ☺ that I couldn’t come, because I was attending Boise State. I felt pretty sorry for myself.
I’d never had a friend like you before, someone who prayed for me and showed me a new and friendlier, more loving Jesus. There are some moments we’ve shared that are so clear in my mind. Once at my house in the Highlands, when Caleb was a teenager, I mentioned I was worried about how difficult it would be for our children to find spouses who followed Jesus and had the example growing up of a good family life. And you replied this didn’t worry you because the Holy Spirit can conquer anything. You probably don’t know this, but your words changed my life that day. Truly, changed the way I live. I began to let God out of the box I’d put him and really let him have power over my life. My world changed that day because of your words. I’m so grateful.
There is another memory that plays so clearly in my mind. We were in the garage of your home on the bench, painting corn toss boards for the Ambrose auction. Steve was with us and you snapped at him (I'm such a good friend for bringing this up). I remember being startled. Wait, what? My Lori also gets annoyed with her husband. This made me feel so good and normal (I know. Such a good friend).
I hope it’s ok that I refer to you as “my Lori” when I pray. I know there are many who come before me and that you belong first to Jesus, then Steve, Madelon, Tom, Jack and so many others. But Lori this is just how it is with you. You have loved us all so well. The rest of us Wonder Women joke that we each feel like your best and closest friend. This is just how good you are at loving us. We live in this love of yours and give Jesus all the glory for bringing us together into this little band of women.
A few years ago when I started to speak at church – some might even say preach! Your support and encouragement and validation gave me courage and kept me returning to the pulpit. I have never spoken at church without you praying me through it. The first time I preach without you praying me through the week before and day of, is something I cannot let myself think about. Maybe put in some extra prayers for me now that I can always hold onto. I really do love you so much.
But here’s the thing I want you to recognize and hold inside yourself. I hope. I pray you know how much you have changed the world for good. I know this is Jesus living inside you, but I hope you will let yourself dwell upon the way you have impacted this world with your life. The choices you’ve made, the way you have loved others, the time you have given to others, the incredible way you can see what others need – your unselfishness – all of these things have made this world a better place. You have loved well and your love lives inside hundreds, maybe thousands of people. You have lived the royal law of love that is the way of following Jesus. Lori, Jesus is so proud of you. I know he is.
Hold onto this and the rest of us Wonder Women will laugh with you and love with you again. There are many tears ahead of us, but I know Jesus is bringing us more laughter and better days than we have ever known. And I will hold onto this.
Your forever grateful, forever loving you friend,
Shawna
PS: There is a pile of tissue on my desk and poor Daphne Dog is pretty worried about all the tears. Maybe put Archie outside when you read this. Oops, I should have said that at the beginning. My bad.
No comments:
Post a Comment