Friends on a Thousand Hills - Rwanda 2016 Part 4

Love from the center of who you are; don’t fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle. Romans 12:10

How do I turn our day spent in the Gihembe Refugee Camp in northern Rwanda into words? It seems impossible. The day overflowed with emotions - joy, heartbreak, love, relief, contentment, sadness, impatience, anger, hurt, worry, guilt. What is appropriate and sensitive to share? What words will honor my friends?

We spent Tuesday in the Gihembe Refugee Camp in northern Rwanda. Gihembe is home to 15,000 Congolese refugees, many of whom have lived there since 1997. They have married there. Raised their children there. Managed to create lives in conditions we Americans cannot imagine. Lives spent each day in small homes made of mud, dirt floors and no electricity. Benches or the ground their only furniture. Yet you won’t meet more hospitable people. These are generous people. Their love is big.

ADRA Rwanda Headquarters in Kigali

Our day began early. Representatives from the Adventist Development and Relief Agency (ADRA) arrived in the tallest SUV I’ve had to climb into (in a long skirt) and first drove us to their Rwanda headquarters in Kigali to meet the associate country director, Geoffrey Kayonde and field officer Epiphanie who accompanied us through the day. Without ADRA obtaining official - and I mean official rubber stamped letter official - permission from the Ministry of Disaster Management and Refugee Affairs (MIDIMAR), we could not have entered the camp. Outsiders are not allowed into the camp without authorization and a guide with them at all times. This is for many reasons. One is for our safety, but also maintaining order in a camp with that large a population, in that small an area is no easy task, and when foreigners enter the camp we immediately create a mob of followers.

Our first stop in Gihembe was to greet the camp manager of MIDIMAR. The purpose - for him to lay down the law - to tell us, “This is what you can do.” And. . .  “This is what you cannot do? No pictures of groups of people. We could take pictures of the school and school children and the families we came to visit, but nothing else.

Primary Classrooms in Gihembe

Next we toured the primary school. We went into the P2 classroom (second grade). Oh, the delight of those children. They begin learning English from P1 and love to talk in English, although we did have a translator explain our BIGGER thoughts. . . We introduced ourselves. Kevin was funny. I was funnier I’m sure. The children asked us questions: What is different about America? Do you have children? Do you like Rwanda? Troublemaker Kevin asked, “What is your favorite football team?” Then egging them on, Kevin said, “Who is better Renaldo or Messi?”

P2 Classroom

As we left the primary school and climbed the hill to the P7 classrooms, children swarmed around me saying, muzungu like they needed too point out that I’m white. I smiled. I asked Epihanie, “If I am muzungu, what are you?” She laughed and said, “African.” So I decided every time they call me muzungu I will reply “African.” As we walked, the children began touching me (this always happens in a crowd of children; it doesn’t bother me, but it is awkward), some children were lightly pinching me. One older boy pinched me harder and I looked him in the eye, gave him the mom look and said, “No!” All his friends laughed at him. Struggling up the hill amidst a swarm of children, I saw Kevin looking back with a  worried look on his face or maybe he was just jealous. . . 

We arrived at P7 where the children asked not to have the translator interpret. Their English was perfect. These children were more comfortable with us, asked lots and lots of question. We laughed so much with them. We told them we have friends their age in Boise who sat in this very classroom. I said, “Does anyone know Justin Karangwa?” Nearly all the hands in the classroom shot up. We showed them pictures of our school age friends in Boise. “I know that one. I know that one.” They said.

P7 Classroom

Then they asked, “What church do you attend?” We replied, “Seventh-day Adventist” and to our surprise they all cheered and clapped. Kevin and I looked at each other quizzically then asked, “Which of you are Seventh-day Adventist?” Every hand but one shot up. We laughed and I reminded them God loves all his children.

I prayed for them, asking God to bring them to Boise so we could be neighbors. As we left I said, “Remember you are important to God. You are loved. Study hard. Maybe we will meet again in Boise.”

We were blessed that day. It is not normally allowed to visit an individual family in their home. It can create danger for them if it appears they have rich friends. But we had come to see Agnes’ mama and papa (we call them Mama Agnes and Papa Agnes), but Papa Agnes was too sick to walk to the ADRA office. Our friend Dada (whose family has already been resettled to Boise), argued long and hard with the ADRA representatives and the director of MIDIMAR. And, well, I’ll just say we visited Mama and Papa Agnes in their home. Later I told Dada he should attend law school when he is resettled to America. He replied, “I do like to win every argument.”

Dada led us through a maze of homes until we reached their home. There were so many family members waiting for us. As I stood there a bit overwhelmed, a woman came and stood before me. Dada said, “This is Mama Agnes.” Mama Agnes looked at me, grabbed onto me and I said, “Oh I’m going to cry.” And then we hugged the hardest hug. We share a daughter, you see. Earlier this year when Agnes was preparing to give birth to her daughter, she talked with her mom on the phone and her mama was so worried about Agnes being alone in Boise. But Agnes replied, “Mama it’s okay. I have found another mother here.” Mama Agnes told me this as we sat in her home together. Tears came to my eyes as I responded, “We will share her now and she will have two mamas.”

The family of Agnes and Justin

I don’t know what to say about this. This strong woman was sharing her daughter with me. This strong woman who raised an incredible daughter, the most generous and kind woman whose laugh can bring joy to the saddest day, this daughter is now mine also. I am humbled. My life has been easy. I cannot know the struggle she endured to raise Agnes into the person she is today, but I am so grateful to be a part of this family.

As we gathered in their home where benches lined the walls, Mama Agnes pointed Kevin and me to the chairs in the room but I said, “No, I want to sit beside Mama Agnes.” And so we squished together on a bench, never letting go of each other.

Later, Papa Agnes slowly made his way into the room. He was very sick. I could see it in his face, but he had put on his best suit to join us. When I saw how painfully he walked into the room I wished he had not risen from his bed. But I could see the joy of being in the room, the honor he showed us, was greater to him than the pain of his illness. The hospitality of African culture is beautiful. We can learn much from it.

Papa Agnes

We pulled out photographs Agnes had sent - beautiful photos of her little family, two month old beautiful, just learned to laugh, Rachael and her big brother Justin, who also is pretty cute but can’t compete with Rachael. Sorry Justin, but I’m sure you know this already.

We then settled into visiting. We stayed for hours, drinking Fanta and eating the delicious tiny bananas. We shared stories about Agnes and Justin. Good stories. Mama Agnes said, “Justin says he is always at your house.” We showed them pictures of Justin being baptized and Kevin brought out the video Justin had made especially for his grandma. He had a long message for her. I don’t know what he said. It was in Kinyarwanda, but grandma listened to it three times and then passed it around to each family member. Great grandma held it against her ear so she could hear his words, nodding her head all the while. Then grandma recorded a message for Justin. I don’t know what she said, but I’m pretty sure it was a lot of love and reminding him keep following Jesus.

As we sat there loving each other, children began pouring into the room. Young children ages five, four and a little two year old. Each came directly to us and hugged us. When the two year old cutie hugged me I said, “Oh! I’m taking this one home with me.” The room roared with laughter. But seriously. . . 

Family

As our visit ended, we gathered in front of their home for a family photo - because we are a family. We crowded together and Dada said, “Shawna stand by Kevin.” I said, “No. I’m standing by Mama Agnes.” Then ensued a ten minute laughter infused photo shoot. At one point Dada wanted me to hold Agnes’ baby niece, but she was having none of it. She fled back into her uncle's arms and gave me a look that said, “I heard you were going to take one of us home with you and it’s not gonna be me!”

Talking to Agnes

During our photo shoot, Agnes called her brother Jackson on video chat. Can you imagine the joy of standing next to her mama while seeing the face of Agnes (in Boise) on the phone and both of us talking to her. One of us in English and one in Kinyarwanda? What crazy world is this where such technology is possible yet her family lives in the harsh reality of a refugee camp?

Praying with Papa and Mana Agnes

As we said our goodbyes and walked back to our ADRA vehicle, I hugged Mama Agnes and tried not to cry.  We got into the car and as we waited for our driver, tiny children came in droves to my open window, said “Hi” and wanted to shake hands with me. An older teenager stood beside the car. His eyes were sad as he said over and over, “Help us. Help us.” I could only look at him and say “Sorry.” It is a paradox that to spend time amidst poverty you must have both a soft heart and a hard heart. But I know if I absorb too much of another’s pain, I will not survive. 

Today, I’m holding on extra tight to these words from Jesus in Matthew chapter 5.

You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.
You’re blessed when you feel you’ve lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.
You’re blessed when you’re content with just who you are—no more, no less. That’s the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can’t be bought.
You’re blessed when you’ve worked up a good appetite for God. He’s food and drink in the best meal you’ll ever eat.
You’re blessed when you care. At the moment of being ‘care-full,’ you find yourselves cared for.
You’re blessed when you get your inside world—your mind and heart—put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.
You’re blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That’s when you discover who you really are, and your place in God’s family.

Read Friends on a Thousand Hills - Rwanda 2016 Part 5 here

Friends on a Thousand Hills - Rwanda 2016 Part 3

Yesterday we met sweet, tiny six year old Yvette. Yvette is a little girl in Africa New Life Ministries’ sponsorship program and is sponsored by our awesome Boise friends Michael and Shea, who were also awesome enough to send about twenty pounds of gifts to Yvette and her family, because why not bring seven bags of luggage across three continents. . . 

Sweet Yvette

Of all the children I’ve met in Rwanda Yvette is the shyest. I could see she wanted to hide behind her mama, but she bravely took a seat between Kevin and me on the sofa. But while she would sit with us, she spoke only a few whispered words. When asked she whispered she is in P2 (second grade) and math is her favorite class. As we pulled the gifts one by one out of the bag (and there were many, because if anyone has a bigger heart than my friend Shea, I haven’t met that person), Yvette stared but no smiles. Yet. Finally we took out the football, the American football, and in my expertise developed over years of watching Boise State football I demonstrated how to throw and explained, “You throw the ball to your teammate and then everyone on the other team runs after that person and tries to knock them down!” This brought her first smile.
But what really got her laughing was my husband. The always willing to be laughed at Kevin whom children adore because he is silly. He is really good at silly. He took the drawing pad and crayons sent by Shea and Michael and drew a self-portrait. As he finished the drawing she began to laugh, and her mama Rose laughed.

The Master of Silliness

As our visit came to an end Kevin prayed for them. He prayed for many things but he prayed they would have enough food. I’ve not visited a family in Rwanda who were so obviously food insecure. These were hungry people and so grateful for the food pack of maize, beans, oil, and soap Shea and Michael sent. When I asked where Yvette’s papa was Richard, Yvette’s social worker, replied he was out looking for food. The area of Bugesera where Yvette and her family lives is not easy living and the ground is not good for growing food. And while the future in Bugesera looks encouraging, as industry and factories are setting down roots, for now life is hard.

As we walked outside and said goodbye, I knelt beside Yvette and told her when I was a little girl I was the shyest girl you would ever meet, and I never wanted anyone to talk to me. But I grew up and now I’m a mom and I’m bossy (she laughed) and I’m not shy anymore (mostly). She smiled so big and I hugged her goodbye.

When we walked back to the car, Yvette and Rose followed us all the way. As we drove away, Yvette and I waved and waved and waved until we could no longer see each other.

Two Shy Girls

Our newest friends, Rose and Yvette

I’m so grateful Michael and Shea sponsor little Yvette, for I would never have met her otherwise. I would never have seen her smile or heard her laugh at Kevin’s silly antics.

Poverty is hard. Most of us in America have only the smallest understanding of poverty, because we haven’t looked into the faces of it. But if you want to take a stand against poverty. If you’re willing to look into the face of poverty, into the face of a little girl or boy like Yvette, please join Michael and Shea and sponsor a child. Bring one of these children into your family. You will be rewarded with a joy I cannot really explain as you receive letters and photographs from your child. The days when mail arrives from Africa New Life with photos and letters from our own sponsored child Umulisa (whom I cannot wait to see in two short days!!!), my heart feels bigger all day. I smile all day! I read her letter over and over (usually while crying) and think, “How is it possible to change a child’s life so easily?” Yet it is. And you can. 

Do not be overwhelmed by this world. Changing the world is really not that hard after all. It is just a click away.

Africa New Life Ministries Child Sponsorship is available right here.

Yvette's Home

Read Friends on a Thousand Hills - Rwanda 2016 Part 4 here

Friends on a Thousand Hills - Rwanda 2016, Part 2

In two days Kevin and I will travel to the Gihembe Refugee Camp in northern Rwanda. We have a long list of friends to visit. Friends we have never met. Friends we love. Many refugees from Gihembe have been resettled to Boise. Refugees like our friends Agnes and Justin, and Lucy and her beautiful, energetic children. Refugees like Calvin and Jackson, twenty-something year old brothers who arrived three years ago, leaving mom, dad and siblings behind. Refugees like our friend Louisa and her beautiful daughters, Giselle and the rambunctious twins Agisa and Agisaro. It is their families we will meet in Gihembe. We have been planning this day for so long.

Agnes, Justin and Rachael

Giselle, Agisa and Agisaro

Weeks before leaving Boise I began receiving messages from friends in Gihembe. Messages like, “I will be eager to see you. May God protect you during this journey.” And another, “My family tells you that no matter when, we are available to welcome you.” And always this, “May God bless you.” And “We welcome you.” Do you know how humbling it is to be loved by individuals you’ve never met? It overwhelms me and simultaneously makes me feel incredibly special.

Here is what I know. Friendship changes everything. It can relieve loneliness. It can bring joy. It can cure hatred. It does change the world, one person at a time.

When my friend Agnes arrived in Boise in the winter of 2014 with her son, they arrived alone with no family to protect them from loneliness or help them learn a new culture. When we discovered they had arrived and were living in a hotel while awaiting permanent housing, Kevin and I brought them to church each week. Justin (now 14) recently told us he was amazed the first time we picked them up. He thought, “White Americans (muzungus) are driving me to church!” This was incredible to him. As they languished in that hotel room for several weeks (the housing market is very tight in Boise), we took them to the mall for a small excursion. Nothing exciting, a stop at the Apple store to play with the iPads, a fruity Frappuccino from Starbucks, and a lot of window shopping. When we returned to their hotel, Agnes spoke to Justin and he translated these words for her, “My mom wants you to know this has been the best day of her life.” Friendship changes everything.

You guys, be friends with the men, women, boys and girls in your cities, in your neighborhoods. Love them like your own family. Love them like you want to be loved. We don’t know what sadness lies inside each other, but we do know how and who to love because Jesus showed us how to do exactly that. This is the way of Jesus. This is the way of Christianity. This is how we bring heaven closer to earth.

“God’s will be done, God’s kingdom come, on earth as it is in heaven.” Matthew 6

Let’s bring heaven down friends. Let’s love so well and so widely that heaven is seen on earth more and more and more and more. Let’s bring it down so our neighbors are lonely no longer - hurting no more. Let’s bring it down so your neighbors, your city know you by your love. Know Jesus by your love.

As we visit our friends, please pray we bring God’s kingdom down in Gihembe as it is in heaven. 

Historical Note: Gihembe was established in 1997 to host Congolese refugees, most fleeing the aftermath of the 1994 genocide which began in Rwanda. More than 15,000 people live in Gihembe. Over fifty percent of them children.

Read Friends on a Thousand Hills - Rwanda 2016 Part 3 here.

Friends on a Thousand Hills - Rwanda 2016, Part 1

It’s hard leaving home when life is full of people to love. Family, friends, our kids’ bible study, and so many babies! Do you know how hard it is to leave those babies who need me to hold them? Two month old Rachael and I just perfected our own language (note: there are a lot of vowels)! How can I leave so much sweetness?

Yet here I am again in the little city of Haarlem in The Netherlands on my way to beautiful Rwanda. This time my sweet husband has joined me, and I’m eager for him to see with his own eyes the beauty of Rwanda and meet our dear friends there.

After a week of goodbyes to our Boise friends, in the midst of weekly children’s bible study and back to school preparation for the kids and visits to hold those heart-stealing babies, finally we left Boise Tuesday morning. We, along with our seven suitcases filled with clothes and gifts from our Boise friends to their families in Rwanda, boarded the first of several fights which will take us the nine thousand miles to Kigali, Rwanda.

My dear friend Lori drove us and our seven fat bags to the airport Tuesday morning. As we stood at the curb, Lori prayed blessings on our journey. And her prayer brought tears. I’ve always struggled to explain why we go to Rwanda. We aren’t on a mission trip. We aren’t aid workers. We aren’t building anything. We aren’t making sick people well. We are just Kevin and Shawna. But as Lori prayed she thanked God we were going to Rwanda. She said thank you that Kevin and Shawna are going to show the people of Rwanda - especially those living in refugee camps - they are not forgotten. She prayed those family members left behind in the camps would know they are never forgotten. They are loved. They are remembered. They are missed. They are valuable. There is hope.

Lori’s prayer made my purpose clear. We go to Rwanda because we love our Rwandan and Congolese friends in Boise and their families in Rwanda are a part of that love. We go because our friends in Boise cannot go. We go to take tangible love to our friends in Rwanda. We go because hope is everything. We aren’t just taking seven overstuffed pieces of luggage with us to Rwanda. We’re taking hope and love and remembrance.

Romans 12:10 “Love from the center of who you are; don’t fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle.”

Future Presidents of the USA

Ivan and friends

David

Dorcas

Gavin let his parents be in his photo

and Miss Rachael whose language I speak

Read Friends on a Thousand Hills - Rwanda 2016 Part 2 here

Always One More

Kevin and I spent the last two days camping in the Sawtooth Mountain Range in Idaho, a place so beautiful all the other states are jealous. . . We camped on the shores of Redfish Lake and went paddleboarding with our three month old puppy, Daphne. Yes, we have become those “dog” people. . .  Standing on my paddleboard, with Daphne at my feet, and staring at the beautiful mountains, I had one of those, “This is so incredible. How can it be happening to me” moments.

And then we drove home, and as we drove home and re-connected with the world, we began seeing news of another mass shooting. This time in Florida more than 50 people killed in a gay nightclub. I thought of my gay friends in Idaho and wondered if they were ok. I texted a friend to ask, “Are you okay? We love you" I remembered how vulnerable I felt when the attacks happened on 9/11. I remembered the strange feelings of, “Why would someone want to hurt me just because I live in this country, just because of who I am?” And I realized that is how my gay friends are feeling right now. Attacked, vulnerable, scared, sad, heartbroken and a lot of emotions I have no inkling of, because I am just me and there is so much I don't know.

I sat down this morning to read my Bible and talk things out with God. I read Psalm 140, “God, get me out of here, away from this evil, protect me from these vicious people.” I felt just like this. “Please God, get me out of this evil all around me.” I started thinking about the sad state of American politics and how our country is not likely to improve any time soon (sometimes I can be pretty cynical - my husband can confirm this. . . ). I began to feel pretty sorry for my country and myself.

Then I started listening to God and my next prayer was, “Please God, help me not let fear win. There will always be people to love, no matter my situation, no matter who is president, no matter what horrible thing occurs next. There will always be people around me to love. Help me do that - exclusively.”

It’s so easy to let fear win, especially when something as evil as a mass shooting happens. I know the only way fear will not win in me is if I choose to believe Jesus is who he says he is, and I am who Jesus says I am. There is great power in knowing this.

Today, I see my country living hard into fear and I am sad, although I understand it. I see the news reports, and it’s so easy to let fear worm itself inside me. If I am going to keep fear at bay, I must acknowledge fear is always a threat and I must consciously work to thwart it. The only way I can accomplish this is to walk every step of every day arm and arm with Jesus, because I know I will never chase fear away on my own. It is not possible.

Rick McKinley says, “I would define true freedom as the ability to live fully, love boldly, and fear nothing, and if you want to know what that looks like in action, then you have to look at Jesus.” The Answer to Our Cry

I want to live fully, love boldly, and fear nothing. There is always someone to love. All I have to do is look around and there they are - a neighbor, a friend, a newly arrived refugee - always, there is another person who needs my love. Who needs your love. I’m going to focus on that, because anger and hurt and hate cannot chase away evil. Only love can.

“But here within the framework of a heart captured by the love of God, I see a world of possibility, a world in which the rain of love is everywhere breaking in and the noise of futility fades. Here I see with the eyes of faith that I am the beloved and he is mine. I see that I have been set free and brought into the Father’s house of love. I see the Spirit’s cry within my heart that God is my Abba Father. And there in that moment, I am fully alive with the bold love, nothing to fear, and a Father who embraces me in the face of Jesus through the presence of the Holy Spirit. I am home.” Rick McKinley, The Answer to Our Cry

Stay in the Story

On Saturday I spoke at my home church about our need as Christians to stay in our story with God, to stay in our story as followers of Jesus, living engaged with our world. I spoke about the need for us to keep pushing into the pain and suffering and joy and laughter that surrounds us. I challenged each of us to stay engaged and not look away or hide from the hard things in our world.

“This is our vocation: to take up our cross, and be Jesus for the whole world, living with the joy and sorrow woven into the pattern of our days.” N.T. Wright

And then Brussels. Brussels, a place I have visited, an airport I have traveled through. Belgium, a country that has been a delight in every visit, the people helpful and polite and the chocolate heavenly. 

Cruel, ugly, frightening death and terror. Again. Kevin and I are scheduled to spend two weeks in Europe in April, including Brussels and Amsterdam. Yesterday, we woke to the too familiar news of yet another terror attack.

If you would like to judge me for not writing about the near constant terror attacks that occur in other parts of the globe, I hope you’ll pause. Because for many of us who react with more emotion to certain places when harm is done to them, I would just say this: We have visited those places. We know people in those cities. We have eaten in those restaurants, ridden on that metro. The same was true of Paris. Those are familiar places to us and that they could be the recipient of such horror and death, shocks us. It doesn’t mean we care less about death in Turkey or Syria or Nigeria. It is simply that we can personally relate to Brussels and Paris and London and New York, because we have memories there. And perhaps because we have been in these places, it scares us more because it could have happened when we were there. This brings our mortality front and center.

This world pushes me into prayer more and more. The apostle Paul wasn’t kidding when he said, “Pray without ceasing.”

All this is happening while Kevin and I are tucked away in the Idaho mountains enjoying a last hurrah of fresh powder and XC skiing in surroundings so beautiful it takes away my breath. It is a surreal thing to be texting a friend in Europe, checking on her safety, while staring out the window as snow gently falls to earth. Our world is getting smaller.

I was reminded today while gliding along fresh snow, surrounded by white-frosted pine trees and the sound of a distant woodpecker, of the need to get outdoors into nature. I was reminded of the craving of my mind and body to experience quiet and peace and beauty in nature. In Idaho we are spoiled. There are few people and a lot of mountains, rivers and deserts to explore and experience.

Let’s stay in the world, in the middle of the mess and walk arm and arm with Jesus, because that is the only way to survive. And when you do, when you stay engaged, when you relentlessly continue to push into the pain and suffering and joy and laughter in this world, you will see Jesus working miracle after miracle. And it will change you. You will discover that what you started out to do (being Jesus to the world around you) has really changed you the most - that the person who received the biggest blessing is you.

“The Spirit, however, gives you joyful fearlessness by making you more aware of reality. It assures you that you are a child of the only One whose opinion and power matters. He loves you to the stars and will never let you go.” Timothy Keller, Prayer -  experiencing awe and intimacy with God

“Above all, love one another deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins.” 1 Peter 4:8

Some Things I've Learned About Winter Travel

I travel often and after years of trial and error have developed some specific travel habits. Here I share the knowledge I have gained for my fellow, crazy winter travelers. 

Planes are cold but coats are bulky and uncomfortable, so in the winter I always wear a sweater with a hood and bring a lightweight wool wrap to use as a blanket. Slip your coat into your carry on, or if you're feeling lucky, into your checked bag. 

12 hour plane rides are the best. . . 

Bring your slippers and your sweatpants. It will feel silly and granny-like when sliding slippers into your suitcase, but your feet will thank you when lounging in your hotel room or Airbnb apartment. 

Layers are your friend. You never know what the weather may bring. The weather app lies to me all the time! 

Long underwear or tights and then jeans. Your legs will thank you! 

The warmest boots you have and wool socks. Thank you Uggs, although why Australians need sheepskin lined boots, remains a mystery. 

that time we flew from Rome to Copenhagen
and packed all our clothes (apparently)

When you return indoors after a long walk, leave your coat on until you’re warm. This prevents a chill which can last all day. In cafes I often take my husband’s coat and drape it over my legs until I’m warm. And wear your hat all day. 

Wear your sunglasses even when it’s cloudy to keep the wind from your eyes. 

Be very sure that picture you want is worth frostbite. This is a hard rule to follow, and I am always breaking it. 

The coffee shop is your warmest friend. 

And always walk on the sunny side of the street. 

Happy Travels!

Eight Frigid Miles

Last weekend was the coldest in New York City for decades, so of course Kevin and I were there. Saturday it was minus 10 degrees with wind chill, a perfect day to explore the city - eight miles of it - on foot. It was a blast. We walked across Central Park, towards Morningside Heights, then across the campus of Columbia University and mingled with people much smarter than us. We stumbled across an amazing service at St. John the Divine. We ate delicious Ethiopian food, and as the hours passed, the temperature plummeted. The frigid air hurt my nose even though it was covered by a face mask. Yes, we were fashionably dressed in America’s fashion capital.

We arrived in New York City earlier in the week, and Kevin spent his days in business meetings while I explored. For the weekend, we moved out of the business hotel reserved for us in mid-town Manhattan and traveled uptown to an Airbnb apartment.

As we turned onto the street in East Harlem where we would be staying our last three days in New York, consternation filled me. This neighborhood looked sketchy. Towers of public housing units surrounded us. I wondered if we would be safe. The situation wasn’t made better by the fact that instead of hailing a cab, we had hired a town car (they are more reliable and cost the same as a taxi). However, the car company sent a stretch limousine rather than a normal black car; not a little awkward. It felt weird as the driver parked the ridiculous stretch limousine in front of public housing units. As I climbed out of the car, pretending to be invisible, I saw children racing home from school, moms holding their little ones’ hands as they hurried towards shelter.  As we climbed the worn steps to our fifth floor apartment, I reminded myself this apartment received great reviews. And, indeed, we had a delightfully cold stay in East Harlem. I loved being in a  real neighborhood with real families.

This was our first foray into East Harlem, and I confess I chose this location because The Corner Bookstore is just blocks away on the Upper East Side. I like to get away from sameness. I like new things. New places. New people. One of my favorite things is to attend different churches in different cities. In New York this was easy, because many churches have services every day. I was excited to attend a Noon service at St. Bartholomew’s Episcopal Cathedral in mid-town Manhattan. It was beautiful and my feet especially enjoyed the break from New York’s concrete jungle.

This was my favorite experience with NYC. In year’s past I would never have stayed in East Harlem. I would have taken one look at the street and said, “Take me to the nearest Marriott.” But a few years ago I decided to live a brave life. And I discovered once we let go of fear, the doors to adventure and beauty and friendship, and all manner of new things, are flung open. 

Life is precious and fleeting. I want to embrace it. I don’t want to live a "Groundhog Day” life, every day a rerun of the last. When we do things that make us uncomfortable, we often find waiting for us, joy and satisfaction. I am the boss of my life. I want to look back and say, “It was good."

About a dozen times Saturday, as we walked those eight frigid miles through East Harlem and Columbia University and the Upper East Side and Central Park, I said to Kevin, "What a good day."  We watched a hockey game outdoors in Central Park, and strolled down St. Nicholas Avenue discovering architecture we’d never before seen in Baptist Church buildings. 

We made one last stop at The Corner Bookstore, and the shopkeeper laughed out loud when we entered wearing our face masks, hats, scarves, gloves and long coats.

On our last night I stood looking out the window. It was negative degrees and people were bundled and rushing to escape the cold. Cars were streaming down the hill from the Upper East Side. The wind was blowing through the the cracks in the windows of the old apartment building. I wondered in amazement that this is my life. I could have stayed home and Kevin would have flown to New York, conducted his business meetings and caught the first plane home. Instead, we had an adventure. We went where we had not been. We saw what we had not seen. We brought home new memories.

And it was good.

Learning How to Be

I have been thinking lately about the difference between "being" and "doing" and what that actually looks like. How does a person go about "being"? I'm pretty sure it looks less busy than I have been this winter.

The New York Times article entitled, Love People, Not Pleasure, says if you want to be unhappy, seek external or "extrinsic" goals like achieving reputation or being famous. If you want to be happy, seek internal or "intrinsic" goals like deep, long-term relationships.

Apparently, "People who rate materialistic goals like wealth as top personal priorities are significantly likelier to be more anxious, more depressed and more frequent drug users, and even to have more physical ailments than those who set their sights on more intrinsic values."

This made me think of Beth Moore's book, Children of the Day. She says, “The idea of shifting the approach of our prayer requests from achieving to receiving is not an original concept, but it’s a fresh perspective for me. . . seeking God to achieve nobler things like love for someone hateful, clarity for mind-tangling scenarios. . . I’m just learning that approaching Him with an emphasis on achieving is a pale second to an outlook of receiving.”

I want to learn how to "be" during the hard, confusing times as well as the good times and not just how to "do", how to act or react.

There is a lot of fun to be had and I am all in for that! Bring on the family vacations, the outrageous laughter of silly, inside family jokes, cold days spent skiing in the Idaho mountains, blistering hot days spent floating down the Boise River on a paddle board. Still, it is in knowing who I am and sharing my life with others that brings lasting joy. And I am really, really all for that.

We the People

“Bravery may mean learning when to shut our mouths and to observe rather than to opine, to seek to understand rather than to be understood.” Jonathan Merritt

There’s a presidential race taking place in the United States? Maybe you’ve noticed. It’s super fun for Americans. Except it’s not. 

The message from each candidate is mostly negative and blaming. They each want us to know who to blame. This means we need never take responsibility for our own problems, individually or as a nation. This is great marketing. Use your words to instill fear and people will follow you. We are a people easily duped.

Yet we’re all citizens of the same country. Some of us believe in a conservative government. Some of us believe in a liberal government. Some of us even believe in a libertarian government (after all, I do live in Idaho). We’ve bought into the belief that these different views require us to despise each other.

Why must we dislike each other because we believe differently? To me this is like saying, “You prefer Starbucks Coffee and I prefer Peet’s Coffee so, of course, we can’t be friends.” It’s more complicated than that. I get it, but your differing political beliefs should not bring out the bad in me. How you present your political beliefs, well that’s where it gets tricky. I am dismayed by those friends of mine on social media who seem only to look for the negative, who post angry and hurtful articles about how “those people” are ruining our country.

Here’s the thing. I will rarely listen to your opinions if they are presented from a negative viewpoint. If you want my attention, present what you believe in a positive way, without disparaging all other views. There must be something good in your beliefs. If the only way you can discuss politics (or education or religion, etc.) is by tearing down the “other,” I will disregard what you say.

I do not live life from a  negative viewpoint (this is mostly true. . . ). Maybe you think that’s naive of me or Pollyanna-ish, but this is my life and I refuse to wake up each day and look around for what’s wrong or who is wrong. I choose instead to, “Get up in the morning and look at the world in a way that takes nothing for granted. Everything is phenomenal; everything is incredible; never treat life casually. To be spiritual is to be amazed.” Abraham Joshua Heschel.

Because it is for freedom Jesus set us free, and living into fear or hate or negativity is not freedom. It is self-imposed bondage.

“Integrity consists not in having no presuppositions but of being aware of what one’s presuppositions are and of the obligation to listen and interact with those who have different ones."  N.T. Wright

One of the greatest joys in my life are my friends who are completely, radically opposite from me politically. I love them so much. My friends who hold to different beliefs enrich my life. I cannot imagine life without them. How boring! I want conversations that push me to consider why I think what I think. I want to be in relationship with real people who believe differently than me, so I keep remembering they are real people. I want them to be all up in my face, so when I am tempted to let enmity grow in me towards that other political party or that other denomination, I see instead the faces of those I love. And I remember there is no other. There is only we the people.

“Let me give you a new command: Love one another. In the same way I loved you, you love one another.” John 13:34

"As life carries on, I hope my edges soften, my defenses weaken. I so desperately want it said of me that I loved well." Jen Hatmaker