Wednesday, June 17, 2015

And the Kingdom of God Came Near - A Family Reunited

Recently I wrote about the sadness and despair that settled on me after attending The Justice Conference. Life continues to offer hardship and being in community and loving others gives me a close up view of pain. It can be a difficult path to walk, and I often struggle not to be overwhelmed by this misery.

And then yesterday. 

Yesterday, Kevin and I went to the airport to greet our friends Calvin and Jackson’s parents and three younger siblings. Calvin and Jackson arrived as refugees in Boise nearly two years ago. Alone. Without their parents. I don’t think Americans can fully grasp the pain this caused them. I have not seen the close family bonds my African friends share replicated in American families. We try, but find it difficult to grasp what they have experienced, the harshness of their lives before arriving in the safety of the United States. We try but we can’t really. And these shared harsh realities create a bond of love between family members that our easy lives in America do not often achieve.

This world offers so many cruel, difficult to bear and sometimes life threatening, life taking experiences. But yesterday it did not. Yesterday it offered something else. Yesterday I saw the kingdom of God come very near. Yesterday a family was reunited. Hearts that were aching, now rejoice. A beloved father and mother wrapped their arms around their sons and the angels sang with them.

I’m grateful to be part of a world that sometimes breaks my heart, but also sings with joy at our triumphs.

Today I sing.

Monday, June 15, 2015

Have I Been a Peacemaker Today? Thoughts from The Justice Conference 2015

Opening speaker at the Justice Conference, Cornel West said, "There’s a radical gentleness in the air here.” But as I left the Conference the following night, I didn’t feel gentleness. Instead, I felt torn up, hurt, sad, regretful. Grief had settled inside me. As I walked with my husband back to our hotel, tears ran down my face. I felt grief at how unloving humans can be towards each other. Grief at how unconcerned we can be towards the suffering of others. Grief at how easily we brush aside words like “white privilege,” saying of course there is no such thing. And if there is, for sure, I am not part of it.

I cried because I heard too much. Too much pain from my black friends. Too many years of being treated less than.

I felt grief for my new friend Allen, a young black man recently graduated from Yale Divinity School. I cried because his life has been so different from mine. As we said goodbye I shook his hand and said, “My life is easier than yours. And that's stupid and wrong and I’m sorry.” He replied, “That’s okay. That’s okay.” But it isn’t and not one of us should think it is.

I wondered if the 2015 Justice Conference was harder to attend because it focused so much on the injustice that has found a home right here in my back yard. In my country. I can’t pretend it isn’t happening, and I can’t pretend I don’t have a role to play.

"The world could use more Justice." Our Uber driver said when we replied we were in Chicago to attend a conference on justice.

My husband jokingly said this should be titled The Injustice Conference because that is what we heard about. There were a few stories offering glimmers of hope, but mostly we heard about injustice. It was hard.

Immediately after the Justice Conference ended, my Twitter feed blew up with references to #McKinney. You can read about the incident in McKinney, Texas on your own and form your own opinions. But as followers of Christ, we must see every person as carrying the image of God inside. Every word we speak, every thought we have is a reflection of what we believe about our God. Reverend Traci Blackmon said, "Privilege is an othering of people that is supported institutionally in such an way that has become the norm. Privilege is saying that the God in you is less than the God in me. But if you are Christian, you must believe that God resides in each and every one of us."

I wonder if instead of so freely putting our bystander opinions on Facebook and Twitter, we could admit we don’t know everything. Justice Conference speaker, Jonathan Merritt said, “Bravery may mean learning when to shut our mouths and to observe rather than to opine, to seek to understand rather than to be understood.” 

As someone who lives in a fairly non-diverse city, I am committed to shutting my mouth and listening. I am committed to learning the history of how we got here. I am committed to reading authors who don’t look like me. Reading stories from those who have lived the harsh reality of injustice. 

It is naive to expect any person to come into a situation without preconceived ideas. Each of us brings a different past to the table. Different pains. Different triumphs. Our unique pasts mean we see situations differently. N.T. Wright says, “Integrity consists not in having no presuppositions but of being aware of what one’s presuppositions are and of the obligation to listen and interact with those who have different ones."

As part of the Justice Conference, I attended an all day training entitled, “Faith and Peace.” At the heart of the teaching was this: Jesus asks me to be a peacemaker. Am I living a life that reflects that? Have I been a peacemaker today? Have I been a peacemaker with my husband, my son, my daughter, my neighbors, my city, my enemies, my world?

"The world God is making is a world where my flourishing no longer trumps yours." Jer Swigart

"Mercy was at the heart of Jesus' messianic mission, just as it remains at the heart of the church's work today. Whether or not that's the script people want us to follow, that's the way we've got to go. And Jesus invokes a special blessing on the people who realize that this is the true story. . . This is where and how God is at work. Those who recognize it, and are not offended because they were expecting something else, will know God's blessing." N.T. Wright,  Matthew for Everyone.

Matthew 11:1-6 When Jesus had finished giving orders to His twelve disciples, He moved on from there to teach and preach in their towns. When John heard in prison what the Messiah was doing, he sent a message by his disciples and asked Him, “Are You the One who is to come, or should we expect someone else?” "Jesus replied to them, “Go and report to John what you hear and see: the blind see, the lame walk, those with skin diseases are healed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the poor are told the good news. And if anyone is not offended because of Me, he is blessed.”

Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Keeping the Crazy Out

Perhaps blinders would be a good solution to the crazy that swirls around us every day. I wonder how we stay focused on anything when the crazy of this world threatens at every moment to derail us from our goals. Certainly, the crazy is very good at keeping us from knowing what our purpose in life is.

For many years I knew my purpose was to raise a son and daughter who loved God and loved others. I've done my best to - in the words of Jen Hatmaker – “over love and over value” my children their entire lives. I unabashedly affirm this way of parenting, because why ever would we want our children to feel anything less then absolutely and completely loved and valued!

Then my children grew into amazing adults and their dad and I were left on our own to figure out what our next purpose in life might be. Well, it took God about a nano second to drop that purpose into our laps, and I'm so grateful. I get to be every day friends with Congolese refugees living in Boise. I get to love them and share my life, share my home, teach them to read, talk about God with them, play games with them, teach a dozen kids how to swim, mentor the older ones into college and just plain love them. It’s not complicated, but it is busy and I do sleep well at night.

Still, every day life attempts to pull me off course. The crazy of this world is constantly at war with what I know to be my purpose.  Sometimes I read the news or scroll through Twitter or Facebook and I'm overwhelmed with a sense of hopelessness. There is such hate, such poverty, such fear, such violence.

And if that weren’t enough, there is the ridiculousness that is politics today. The truth no longer matters much. All that matters is my opinion, and if I keep saying it often enough, you will start to believe it. How fun. Except no.

Sometimes I sit in frustrated despair wondering what is the point. Everything is so awful. People are so horrible to each other. Life is a hamster wheel spinning and spinning and going nowhere. We are all so broken.


It is when the crazy threatens to overwhelm me, that I remind myself to stay focused. Face forward, always moving into my purpose. Do not be distracted by the crazy. This is what keeps me from being overwhelmed by the evil and stupidity this world daily throws at us. I keep my eyes on David and Simbi and Beatrice and Kamana and Justin and Celestin and James and Fabrice and Gedeon and Giselle and so many, many others whose lives I can really change, whose lives I have seen change. I keep doing the next thing. And then the next thing. And then the next thing.


And I carry on. Because I can change this world.

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Why Aren't We Crying?

I read the news this morning of 700 Africans drowning in the Mediterranean. And I cried. I was in a bustling coffee shop surrounded by strangers, and I put my head in my hands and cried. It was the correct response to such horrible desperation.

For if we claim to be followers of Jesus, where are our tears? If we can read of 700 desperate Africans fleeing hunger and violence without putting our heads down and sobbing, then what is wrong with us? Where have we gone wrong? To what are we giving our hearts if not to relieve the pain of people who are just like us. Moms dads sons daughters brothers sisters. We are all the same. 

It is scary how hard it is to love others. We are told plainly and often to love each other, but we do it so poorly. Why is it so difficult? Why do we complicate it so? Does this go back to fear? To pride? To our constant struggle to die to self? To die to our need to get our own way? 

"Meditate on Jesus, who is the ultimate meditation of God. Look at him loving you. Look at him dying for you. Look at him rejoicing in you. Look at him singing over you. Look at all that, and he will be a delight to you. . . " Timothy Keller, Prayer, Experiencing Awe and Intimacy with God


It is only in seeing how well Jesus loves me, that I can ever hope to love others. By admitting and holding onto how lovable and valuable Jesus sees me, I can then look at every other person and see them as lovable and valuable. This should change everything about how I live EVERY day. Because love is an action. Love has hands and feet. Love is not a word. Love is a way of living.


The Lord your God is among you, 
a warrior who saves.
He will rejoice over you with gladness.
He will bring you quietness with His love.
He will delight in you with shouts of joy.”
Zephaniah 3:17

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Where is Our Desperation?

I spent the weeks between Lent and Easter deep in the Bible, spending hours each day with Jesus, re-reading his last days, talking with him, meditating on his Word. It was wonderful. I experienced the celebration of his resurrection more deeply than ever before in my life.

And yet the day after Easter I spoke these words to my husband, “Why aren’t we as Christians desperate for humility? Why don’t we crave it? Why don’t we recognize how hopeless we are to live – to truly live – what Jesus calls us to do if we do not ooze humility?

I believe that until humility lives deep inside me, until humility drowns out my selfish desires, I cannot really know Jesus. Because until humility reigns in me, I just keep getting in the way of my savior.

This morning I read an article written by Timothy Keller entitled, The Advent of Humility. It’s a great article but also discouraging. Here are a few highlights:

“Once we become aware of the poison of pride, we begin to notice it all around us.” This is where I am today. After walking all these years with Jesus, I began to notice and despair of the pride that has ruled me, that has been the source of so many of the struggles I have faced down over the years. Today, my most frequent prayer is that humility will live in me. That pride will be forced out. That I will die to my own selfishness. But Keller says, “Humility is so shy. If you begin talking about it, it leaves.” What I have to be proud of I cannot imagine, because as Keller says, “Our sin was so great, nothing less than the death of Jesus could save us.” This must drop me to my knees every time!

I used to believe that behaving made God love me more. Keller describes it like this, “When people living in the moral-performance narrative base their self-worth on being hard working or theologically sound, then they must look down on those whom they perceive to be lazy or theologically weak.”

Today, I am living into this new way of believing, “But those who understand the gospel cannot possibly look down on anyone, since they were saved by sheer grace, not by their perfect doctrine or strong moral character.”

“When the gospel is deeply grasped, however, our need to win arguments is removed, and our language becomes gracious. We don’t have to ridicule our opponents, but instead we can engage them respectfully.” I desperately want this in me.

Keller goes on to say:

“In the chapter, ‘The Great Sin’, in Mere Christianity, C. S. Lewis writes, ‘Whenever we find that our religious life is making us feel that we are good – above all, that we are better than someone else – I think we may be sure that we are being acted on, not by God, but by the devil.’”

“Humility is only achieved as a byproduct of understanding, believing, and marveling in the gospel of grace. . . . when we listen to the gospel preached or meditate on it in the Scriptures, we are driving it so deeply into our hearts, imaginations, and thinking that we begin to instinctively ‘live out’ the gospel.”

“So let us preach grace till humility starts to grow in us.” Yes, please, Jesus! Make this so in me!




Friday, April 3, 2015

Walking Towards Easter, Day Thirteen

John 20:21 Jesus said to them again, “Peace to you! As the Father has sent Me, I also send you.”

1 Peter 2:9 But you are the ones chosen by God, chosen for the high calling of priestly work, chosen to be a holy people, God’s instruments to do his work and speak out for him, to tell others of the night-and-day difference he made for you—from nothing to something, from rejected to accepted. (The Message)

Am I living sent? Jesus said, Go. Tell. Share these amazing events. Go. Share. Tell. Change the world. Because we can. Oh, we like to say I'm just one person. What can I do? But I can change the world for one person, for that person standing in front of me, living next door to me. For that single mom. That fatherless child. It is not complicated. It just takes time. It just requires me to share myself. It just requires me to live for someone other than me.

We are so good at making excuses. Truly, we have perfected the art of why it can't be done. For why else would we hunker down within the walls of our homes and our churches, our divided denominations? The instructions Jesus gave are simple. "Go" he said. Share what I have done for you. Love everyone. Help everyone. Live through the lens of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, self-control. Towards every person.

Am I living this? Do I know my neighbors' names? Or am I afraid and hunkered down? Am I sharing my life only with those who look and believe just like me?

Go! Because Jesus died a gruesome death for me. He rose in triumph for me. How can I ever allow the lazy, scared part of me to win over all I have been given in Jesus. It is for freedom that Jesus came and set me free. Let's set some more people free.

Go!

Thursday, April 2, 2015

Walking Towards Easter, Day Twelve

Matthew 28:16-20
The 11 disciples traveled to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had directed them. When they saw Him, they worshiped, but some doubted. Then Jesus came near and said to them, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe everything I have commanded you. And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”

Oh, the relief and joy the disciples must have felt at seeing Jesus alive, at being able to touch him, to fall face down and worship him.

Oh, the sweet forgiveness of Peter, for while Judas is not included here, we see the other "11 disciples" were.

"And some doubted." This bothered me so I researched the original Greek and the original word indicates "hesitation," the kind of hesitation a person experiences when in a new situation.

And then Jesus tells them to go everywhere, teaching everyone to do "what I have commanded you." I'm thinking of what we see Jesus doing and saying in the time he spent with his disciples. It is not a teaching of rules. It is a teaching of the heart. Love each other, care for each other, open up space for dignity for every person. And in all of this, point the way to a loving God. A God who gave it all up for me. For you. For freedom. He is risen, indeed.

Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Walking Towards Easter, Day Eleven

Mark 16:9 Early on the first day of the week, after He had risen, He appeared first to Mary Magdalene, out of whom He had driven seven demons. 

And Jesus appeared first to Mary Magdalene, the most messed up of his followers. I love it! A woman from whom Jesus had previously cast out seven demons. Who could have loved him more? Even before his death and resurrection, which gave Mary hope of eternal life, Jesus had already given her new life. A life free of demons. He gave her back herself. Who could have loved Jesus more?

Mark 16:10-13 She went and reported to those who had been with Him, as they were mourning and weeping. Yet, when they heard that He was alive and had been seen by her, they did not believe it. Then after this, He appeared in a different form to two of them walking on their way into the country. And they went and reported it to the rest, who did not believe them either.

And Mary ran and told the mourning and weeping disciples and they did not believe her. Even when two more believers came and told them Jesus was alive, they did not believe. We humans just have such a hard time believing outside what we are already believing, outside of what we previously have experienced. We struggle so greatly to let go of ourselves, to release our "I know better" attitude. Oh how I crave the humility that allows me to depend on Jesus and not myself.

Jesus, please help me not be blind to your truth. Because I don't know everything and when you reveal more of yourself to me, more of who you are, more of your truth, I want to believe.

Mark 16:14-20 Later, He appeared to the Eleven themselves as they were reclining at the table. He rebuked their unbelief and hardness of heart, because they did not believe those who saw Him after He had been resurrected. Then He said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to the whole creation. Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved, but whoever does not believe will be condemned. And these signs will accompany those who believe: In My name they will drive out demons; they will speak in new languages; they will pick up snakes; if they should drink anything deadly, it will never harm them; they will lay hands on the sick, and they will get well.” Then after speaking to them, the Lord Jesus was taken up into heaven and sat down at the right hand of God. And they went out and preached everywhere, the Lord working with them and confirming the word by the accompanying signs.

"Since this moment the universe is no longer what is was; 
nature has received another meaning; history is
transformed and you and I are no more, and should not be
anymore, what we were before." 
Paul Tillich

Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Walking Towards Easter, Day Ten

Mark 16:1-13
When the Sabbath was over, Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James, and Salome bought spices, so they could go and anoint Him. Very early in the morning, on the first day of the week, they went to the tomb at sunrise. They were saying to one another, “Who will roll away the stone from the entrance to the tomb for us?” Looking up, they observed that the stone—which was very large—had been rolled away. When they entered the tomb, they saw a young man dressed in a long white robe sitting on the right side; they were amazed and alarmed.

“Don’t be alarmed,” he told them. “You are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who was crucified. He has been resurrected! He is not here! See the place where they put Him. But go, tell His disciples and Peter, ‘He is going ahead of you to Galilee; you will see Him there just as He told you.’” So they went out and started running from the tomb, because trembling and astonishment overwhelmed them. And they said nothing to anyone, since they were afraid.

Early on the first day of the week, after He had risen, He appeared first to Mary Magdalene, out of whom He had driven seven demons. She went and reported to those who had been with Him, as they were mourning and weeping. Yet, when they heard that He was alive and had been seen by her, they did not believe it. Then after this, He appeared in a different form to two of them walking on their way into the country. And they went and reported it to the rest, who did not believe them either.

I love the devotion of these women. While the men hid in fear, the women took action. They were going to honor Jesus in his burial. Perhaps, also, women were considered less dangerous by the authorities and so felt safer showing allegiance to Jesus.

I wonder if the women knew an angel was speaking to them? Too bad Mary, the mother of Jesus wasn't with them. She could have said, "Oh, yea, this guy looks familiar."

The angel's words, "go tell his disciples and Peter" indicates that perhaps Peter felt he could no longer be considered Jesus' disciple because of his betrayals the night before. It is awful to think about how Peter was feeling, the sorrow, the heartache. That the angel called him out by name shows such loving compassion. Peter is not the focus of this story, but the angel takes a moment to sooth his heart.

And then the women are so freaked out by what they have just seen and experienced, they completely ignore the angel's instructions and tell no one. Even when Mary Magdalene has seen Jesus and tells the others he is indeed ALIVE, no one believes. 

We have such a hard time thinking outside our preconceived thought boxes. Oh, how greatly we must desire intimacy with the Holy Spirit, so we can know what is true.

Monday, March 30, 2015

Walking Towards Easter, Day Nine

My brain does not want to think about the pain Jesus experienced, the torture. It is barbaric and I instinctively try to turn my thoughts to gentler images. I want to jump straight to his resurrection, to his restored and pain free body. How cowardly and weak I am, but my Savior deserves my full attention to ALL he endured to set me free. I pray for the courage to truly look at his crucifixion and, thus, to better grasp the gift he has given me. Please Jesus, make this so in me. Help me to live out your gift.

Matthew 27:32-56
As they were going out, they found a Cyrenian man named Simon. They forced this man to carry His cross. When they came to a place called Golgotha (which means Skull Place), they gave Him wine mixed with gall to drink. But when He tasted it, He would not drink it. After crucifying Him they divided His clothes by casting lots. Then they sat down and were guarding Him there. Above His head they put up the charge against Him in writing:

THIS IS JESUS
THE KING OF THE JEWS.

Then two criminals were crucified with Him, one on the right and one on the left. Those who passed by were yelling insults at Him, shaking their heads and saying, “The One who would demolish the sanctuary and rebuild it in three days, save Yourself! If You are the Son of God, come down from the cross!” In the same way the chief priests, with the scribes and elders, mocked Him and said, “He saved others, but He cannot save Himself! He is the King of Israel! Let Him come down now from the cross, and we will believe in Him. He has put His trust in God; let God rescue Him now—if He wants Him! For He said, ‘I am God’s Son.’” In the same way even the criminals who were crucified with Him kept taunting Him.

From noon until three in the afternoon darkness came over the whole land. About three in the afternoon Jesus cried out with a loud voice, “Elí, Elí, lemá sabachtháni?” that is, “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?”

When some of those standing there heard this, they said, “He’s calling for Elijah!”

Immediately one of them ran and got a sponge, filled it with sour wine, fixed it on a reed, and offered Him a drink. But the rest said, “Let’s see if Elijah comes to save Him!”

Jesus shouted again with a loud voice and gave up His spirit. Suddenly, the curtain of the sanctuary was split in two from top to bottom; the earth quaked and the rocks were split. The tombs were also opened and many bodies of the saints who had fallen asleep were raised. And they came out of the tombs after His resurrection, entered the holy city, and appeared to many.

When the centurion and those with him, who were guarding Jesus, saw the earthquake and the things that had happened, they were terrified and said, “This man really was God’s Son!”

Many women who had followed Jesus from Galilee and ministered to Him were there, looking on from a distance. Among them were Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James and Joseph, and the mother of Zebedee’s sons.