Tuesday, February 19, 2013

I Am Not Letting Go

I was running last week and listening to music when these words filled me.

Hope is just a ray of what everyone should see
Alone is the street where you found me
Scared of what's behind
You always scared of what's in front
Live with what you have
And make the best of what's to come

Tell me a story long and true
We are what we say we are what we do
Just pieces of a puzzle to find where we stand just confused
So you are the moon that pulls me through the night
Tell Me a Story by Phillip Phillips

The words spoke to me so clearly that I stopped running. In that moment I understood that for so long I didn't allow myself to grab onto hope, that I lived for years with a fear of what was to come - a fear of what life would be like when my sweet children grew into lives of their own and were no longer a part of my moment by moment life. Would I still have purpose? Would I still be valuable? Lovable?

I realized I hadn't given myself permission to feel hope because I didn't really believe  God loves me just as I am.  Oh, but he does.  The Bible says I am wholly and dearly loved, a saint, a child of God, blameless, chosen, God's special possession, a priest, righteous, faithful.

"Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us. . .  For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light." Ephesians 5:1-2 & 8

Today I grab onto hope, knowing it is indestructible. Hope grabs onto light and does not let go. I see hope, and I am not afraid.

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